Special Member Feature: The Forgetter

August 8, 2011

Today we are honoring The Forgetter, our member who excels at helping you forget things which are really not important, or which are best not remembered.

You know the kinds of things we mean: inconvenient shopping lists that your spouse gave you, unpleasant tasks, birthdays of people who annoy you, where the cleaning supplies are kept, and so on.

The Forgetter induces fogginess, confusion, distraction, or blankness to interrupt any troublesome action, thought, insight, question, or expression that has disguised itself as important or meaningful.  For example, suppose you are driving home from work when the thought occurs to you that your anniversary is next week.  A favorite Forgetter strategy is to suggest that you don’t need to think about it yet, that it will be better to wait a day or two until, say, you have more time; this, followed up by the intrusion of an interesting news segment on the radio, a near accident, or the sighting of a cow, bus, pedestrian (anything will do), will usually banish the thought entirely from your mind.

A quick and efficient way to clear the decks – with a minimum of blame coming back toward you!  (Obviously, if you could have remembered, you would have!)

See how The Forgetter recommends you deal with forgetting an important date.


Board of Mis-Directors and the Global Economy

October 25, 2008

Who is responsible for the current global economic crisis?  We take no small amount of pride in proclaiming that we are.  As proud and pleased as we are with the way the presidential campaign is going (and with the general trend of campaigns and politics over the last many years), we must say that we just burst our little buttons when we reflect on this economic crisis.

Pardon us if we just take this moment to celebrate some of our devoted members.  While everyone out there is looking here and there, in boardrooms and governmental offices, in banks and lobbyists’ phone records, for the person or persons to blame for this economic crisis, we will let you in on a little secret:  We Did It!

Oh, yes, they were our instruments.  Of course.  But we were the power behind virtually every move, every step along the way.

So, today, we will take this space to congratulate some of our members for their roles.

The Rationalizer is our first big star here.  The Rationalizer stands behind every government official or business person who ignored signs that problems were on the way, whether for his or her own benefit or just because it was uncomfortable to notice.   The Rationalizer is also a strong friend of those who got mortgages they knew they probably couldn’t pay, as well as those who created those wacky credit derivatives, and so many others involved in seeding this crisis.  You go, Rationalizer!

But The Rewarder deserves some of the credit there, too.  What a team they make!    Once The Rewarder makes sure folks know about the short-term gains (adjustable rate mortgages!  Credit derivatives swaps! So much more!), the Rationalizer can step in with the Way Around the Difficulties.  Elegant!  Efficient!  Effective!

Now, when the crisis hit and banks started failing, our crackerjack (and experienced) crisis team stepped up to the plate and helped the US administration in its hour of need.  The Realist helped them to create the overall picture of the situation, and The Escalator helped to drive home just how dire the consequences of deliberation (as opposed to immediate action) were.  The Rationalizer and The Rewarder helped everyone adjust to the idea of a big $$ bailout, and additionally The Rationalizer is even now helping to figure out who to blame.  And we send a special shout-out (so to speak) to The Expresser, who is helping those who find someone to blame to do it in the most emotionally scarring way possible.

Excellent job, guys!  Keep up the good work!


%d bloggers like this: