MisDirectors August Horoscopes

July 31, 2011

We all know horoscopes are fake, right? Science, schmience! For entertainment only! But these, at least, have some good, solid, helpful hints for handling what’s coming your way! And they’re FREE!

We are pleased to offer you horoscopes when we feel you need them – like now.  Here are a few samples of our August horoscopes:

Leo July 23-Aug 22
Hey, birthday guy/gal, think:
there was something you really,
really needed to accomplish
this summer, to set you up
for the rest of your life.
What was it? Oh, well – The Forgetter
says it was probably not important anyway.

Sagittarius Nov 22-Dec 21
It wasn’t your fault, really.
Could have happened to anyone.
And if the others had done their part,
it NEVER would have come to this.

Gemini May 21-June 20
Now’s a great time for a task from
the Processor, called How Deep Can You Go?

It starts out like this:
Make a list of 5 things you’ve always wanted to do
but haven’t yet. Now, for each item, make a list
of all the reasons you have failed to do it.
Now, for each of those reasons, …
(Yes, there’s more. For the rest,
go to the Tasks from Your Inner Voices page.)

Not a Leo, Sag, or Gemini?  Feeling neglected?  Chill.  The Board has something for you in our horoscopes.  And if we don’t, well, get over it.

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